The life of an evil, genius mastermind
by eventful
Summary: No, seriously. It isn't easy being an evil, genius mastermind with an ambition to become God when when you're surrounded by idiots and have a grinning, creepy looking, prankster and a blind guy always babbling about justice, for subordinates.


Ah, my sweet, sweet world... I, your God, am gracing you with my presence. I stand in front of the masses. I hear people cheering for me. Shouting out my name. Women swoon at my sight. Men bow at my feet. Mothers give me their newborns and I kiss them. Smoking hot babes come to me and I kiss them, too. I hear them crying out loud to let them have my babies.

Indeed, it was good to be God.

_...Ai...chō..._

Little boys and girls come to me and shyly ask for my autograph, which I, do give with my good-guy™ smile.

_...Ai...tai..._

A woman. A beautiful, babelicious, blonde woman, comes to me and for the first time, I feel that my voice has left me to the wolves. Though, I would be happy to be devoured by this fine she-wolf.

With a sultry smile, she leans forward so that her mouth is in line with my ear.

"Wake up, will ya. Aizen-taichō." She say in an all too familiar _and_ manly voice. "Or rather, the sleeping beauty would fancy a kiss from prince charming?"

At that point, two things came to my mind. Firstly, I am dreaming, sadly. That means all this crowd, men, babes, especially the babes, were figments of my imagination. Secondly, If I don't wake up the next second, I'll be scarred for life.

So, I did the most logical thing. I screamed, in my dream of course, like a man, I may add, thus, waking myself up.

Now, imagine my reaction when the first thing in my line of sight were a pair of lip. Lips of my silver haired, pain in the arse, lieutenant.

"_**Gin. **_What are you doing?" I asked with my straight, game face. Though, inside I was hyperventilating at the fact that how close I was to being scarred for life. Well, I sure know how to keep calm in any situation. I mean, _any. _Even that time when Gin had booked a transgendered stripper as an oh-so-thoughful gift for my birthday, last month. Fuck! I remembered it again! Okay, take a deep breath. One...two...three. Memory repressed.

"Oya! Looks like I didn't need to kiss you awake after all." Gin said and stood up from my bed, already dressed for work. Then, the realisation hit me. He is in _**MY **_house. Inside _**MY **_room. I look at him and twitch a little at his creepy grin. Compose yourself, Sōsuke! Don't let the devil sense your fear.

"I tried to wake you up but you wouldn't. So, I thought of something else." He said and his grin stretched a little more. I twitch a little bit more. Seriously. If there ever will be something like Soul Society awards in unforeseeable future, then, I'm so nominating his for the creepiest person in the whole damn place.

"Don't think. Leave that part to me, okay?" I said and he pouted like a child. Not helping, Gin. Not helping. "Now, go and make me some tea."

"Do I have to!"

"...If you don't want to be stuck with Central forty-six' retainer duty... Then, yes."

Gin, promptly left without a word. He is stupid, but, not _that _stupid. To be assigned to that place was one of the worst punishments that a member of the Gotei thirteen can be given. Seriously. You wouldn't want to cater to the whims of some old snob.

I get up from my oh-so-comfortable bed and lazily make my way to the toilet. Gin' prank may have momentarily made me loose control of my bladder. Seriously, it isn't easy being an evil, manipulative, genius mastermind.

Well, the shower was refreshing. Even if, a tad bit cold. But, it was exactly what I needed. The dream had made me horny, even if a little bit. Sometimes, I think if I should quit being the evil, manipulative genius I am and focus on the smaller things in life. Like getting a girlfriend, focusing on my career and so on. You'd think that a captain level shinigami would be getting some attention from women, but it isn't that. Well, not for me. The current me, that is. Women seemed to be attracted more towards people like Captain Kuchiki...or Ukitake...and strangely, Kaname. Though, I suspect it may be due to the fact that he is blind. But, never me.

Oh, to hell with that! Once I become God, then, we'll see who gets more attention from the fairer sex.

I look at my, handsome if I may say so, self in the mirror. All ready with my shihakusho and haori. My lustrous brown hair set in their usual scholarly style. Now, time for the most important thing. Something that defines the captain part of me and is a major part of my being. No, I'm not talking about Kyōka Suigetsu. I have it already strapped to my waist.

The one I'm talking about are my _**NERD **_glasses. Without them, I won't look like the nice, kind-hearted and unassuming guy that people know me as. When I had betrayed Hirako Shinji, my captain, no one suspected me. Why? Because I'm the nice, kind-hearted and unassuming guy that my glasses make me look like. Not the evil, manipulative, genius mastermind I am. Even if someone might have assumed that I could have been behind all that, then, they would have no sooner dismissed that with the thought that 'Nah. That guy doesn't look like he has even a single evil bone in him. Just look at him. Surely, a dorky looking guy like him couldn't have achieved that. Hell! He looks like he would faint right at the spot if a hot girl came at talked to him!'

I know so because I heard that. From the captain commander, nonetheless. Sure, that fainting thing hurt a bit, but, you don't survive being Aizen Sōsuke if you let things like that get to you.

On the side note, I'm so getting rid of this hairstyle and the glasses, when I leave soul society. Probably, in exchange for a style that is part sexy and part evil.

Now, time to go to my office. But, my tea first. Hopefully, my jester of a lieutenant would have prepared my tea by now...and not poisoned it like the last time by 'mistake'. But, he might have learned his lesson by now, if I am that fortunate.

"Here's ya tea, Aizen-taichō."

"Ah, thank you." I smile as I take the cup from Gin's hands. I look at him, smiling that creepy smile of his at me and become a little unnerved. God, that look should be banned. It's the same look that a pedophile gives to his potential prey. "Gin, you may leave ahead. I meet you at my office...and leave the spare key here."

"As ya wish." With that, he was gone. Though, he did look a bit sad about leaving the keys. Well, good for me.

**XYXYXYXYXYX**

"...So? Is everyone here?"

I look at the Captain Commander from my position in the row of Captains. Was the old fossil really serious? Why did he feel the need to ask? Couldn't he see everyone present with his own eyes? It's not like there is a plethora of captains in the room. Last time I checked, we were short of six captains. I made sure of that. Now, we were down to the remaining seven with the addition of myself, Kaname and Shiba Isshin as new captains.

"Now, that everyone is here. Let's start the meeting." The old fossil bangs his cane to the ground and I winced at the ear piercing sound. Sooner or later, I'll do something about that stick too.

"As some of you might have heard, Kenpachi-taichō is no longer with us." Gasps are heard throughout the room. On the exterior, I too feigned shock. Good riddance! I never liked that drunk, battle hungry, gorilla. One time, when he had spoken to me, breathing that stinking alcohol laced breath of his in my face, then, I had decided that he wouldn't stay long here.

"Silence!" The old bat banged his cane again! There's only so much that my ears can take, dammit!

"I would like you all to meet the new captain of the eleventh division. Enter, Zaraki-taichō!"

Oh, good! Hopefully, this one will be better than the previous one. I look as the doors nearly get unhinged because a hulking figure with an eyepatch and a maniacal grin, enters. A hulking figure, with a maniacal grin, an eyepatch and in captain's robes. Are those bells? What kind of freaky haircut is that? Ah well, he must be a well mannered person. Appearances can be deceiving, can't they?

Then, he looks at everyone present and his eyes land on me.

"You? A captain? You look more like a librarian!"

I am surprised that this buffoon knows what a library is. No, seriously. I wonder if the universe likes to screw with me. This ape is no better than the previous one. Well, hopefully he doesn't drink like a pig.

"So, who wants to come with me and get shit faced drunk!"

Goddammit. Why do I keep getting my hopes up...

**XYXYXYXYXYX**

"Goddammit, Aizen-taichō! Why did you have to send _ME _of all people to Central forty-six! You do know how I hate that place!"

I smilingly look up from my paperwork to my red face lieutenant. A scowl on his face instead of his creepy smile, does give me the idea but I can't stop myself from asking. "Ah, Gin. How are you?"

"How. Am. I? _How am I? __**How am I?**_" And his eyes opened. That was never a good sign. For Gin to not squint was like for the sun to come from the West instead of the East. "I've been the errand boy of multiple old snobs for the whole day! My duties included various things. From disposing of dirty adult diapers to buying Viagra for horny old farts. So, pardon me if I seem a little bit... _**Absolutely livid.**_"

I frowned. Those old perverts were doing their dirty deeds during work hours. Something has to be done. I shuddered as the mental image hit me with the velocity of a freight train. Calm down, Sōsuke. One...two...three. Memory repressed.

I look at my subordinate' scowling face and can't help but feel guilty. It seems that I've been a little too hard on Gin. I apologized to him and he begrudgingly accepted it.

"Say what, Gin. Why don't we leave early today. Looks like you could use a drink." I said. Already half way finished with arranging my belongings on my desk.

"You're payin'?"

I chuckle. "Yes, Yes. I'm paying."

Gin grinned again. All signs of anger had vanished from his face. "Then what ya waitin' for!"

I chuckle louder. Ah, it isn't easy for your resident evil, genius, mastermind. But, whoever said that anything in life is easy. As my lieutenant dragged me outside our division barracks, I can't help but think what will the sun bring forth, when it rises the next time.

**So, did you all enjoy it?**

**Tell me in your nice reviews. **

**Until next time.**


End file.
